Anger is an emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage
Brenda Van Niekerk
Anger is an emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage. It is a feeling that is accompanied by biological changes in your body. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure rise and stress hormones are released. This can cause you to shake, become hot and sweaty and feel out of control.
When people have angry feelings, they often behave in angry ways too. Angry behaviours include yelling, throwing things, criticising, ignoring, storming out and sometimes withdrawing and doing nothing.
Remind yourself that the cause of your anger is not the result of some cosmic conspiracy. Everybody stands in long queues, sits in traffic and is subjected to bureaucratic incompetence. Don't take it personally and you're less likely to become angry.
Regardless of whether you fume silently, punch your pillow or throw vases, these anger management strategies will have a positive effect on both your health and your relationships with others. If however, you still find yourself struggling to control your anger and your reactions, you should seek professional help.
Mature people seek better ways to deal with their anger in an argument. They make a contract with their partner that they can leave during a fight when they feel that they are getting out of control. They remove themselves to a private place for time out. In private they do damage control techniques to bring their anger level down and then return to deal with the problem.
When you're angry, your thinking can get exaggerated and irrational. Try replacing these kinds of thoughts with more useful, rational ones and you should find that this has an effect on the way you feel. For example, instead of telling yourself 'I can't stand it, it's awful and everything's ruined', tell yourself 'It's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it'. Psychologists call this type of thinking 'self talk'.
Develop a list of things to say to yourself before, during and after situations in which you may get angry. It is more helpful if these things focus on how you are managing the situation rather than what other people should be doing.
Underlying anger is caused by a perceived loss of control over factors affecting important values. The values in the above examples might be pride, getting someplace on time, someone you love, money, or being treated "fairly"--we are frustrated about not getting what we want or expect.
Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, and so does the level of your energy hormones, adrenalin and noradrenalin.
Anger can be caused by external or internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
Have a look at http://www.cureangermanagement.com for more information.
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